this is the part where i finally start looking around.
 
"nitrogen" is about realizing that one person cannot be your only source of love, attention or desire. if i can’t get what i need from him, maybe i can find it somewhere else.... just like nitrogen is everywhere around us, even when we don’t notice it.
 
the song still carries the memories of the relationship i imagined, and there is definitely some bitterness left, but for the first time there is also movement. other people exist. other possibilities exist. maybe this story is not the whole world after all.
 
i also love how uncertain the ending still is. i keep saying "i'm free to be" and then immediately asking "am i free to be?" because moving on is never as clean as deciding to move on.
 
this is not the happy ending yet.... but it is the first time i can see another direction.
 
songwriting by CANTIBEALL®
produced and mixed by CANTIBEALL®
mastered by Dan Smith [DKS] at Finyl Tweak (UK)
 
10. nitrogen
 
i was woken up by a flash of light
that hides the smell of ur neck n flies
over the summer that for u i foil
the clarity put my wound to boil
 
i don't have the battery that turns you on
i'll just keep the remembrance
there are a lot of pals
conceited ones
 
waves pursue something and never give up
i got my heart cracked into two
and there was the light that u grew
i got my heart cracked into two
and there was the light that u grew
 
your sleepy mouth brought myself out
i see the choices surrounding like
nitrogen
 
if i cant grasp you right from air
i see the fountain and i'll hunt my
nitrogen
 
there're plenty of them
a lot of beggar lighters
i'll find another lusty
mute jawline
 
unappreciated love
that's what eyes effuse
this moonless trail i walk as i shift my bruise
 
i don't have the battery that turns you on
i'll just keep the remembrance
there are a lot of pals
conceited ones
 
waves pursue something and never give up
 
your sleepy mouth brought myself out
i see the choices surrounding like
nitrogen
 
if i cant grasp you right from air
i see the fountain and i'll hunt my
nitrogen
 
the worst drunk
is the one who's dancing
beside the loved one
 
the worst drunk
is the one who's dancing
beside the loved one
 
i'm free to be
am i free to be?
i'm free to be
am i free to be?
 
the worst drunk
is the one who's dancing
beside the loved one
 
am i?
 
🌬️ 💔 🧪 🌌
 
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