there is something beautiful and slightly dangerous about starting to think of a relationship as "we" instead of "me".
the song was inspired by the red thread of fate.... an old East Asian legend about an invisible red thread connecting people who are destined to find each other, often lovers. the thread may stretch, twist or become tangled, but somehow it keeps those people connected. at the time, i genuinely thought i had tracked mine.... and that max might be the person waiting at the other end.
by then, our memories, routines, bodies, jokes and plans had become so intertwined that being apart started making me wonder who i was without him. the song is playful and very physical, full of camping, food, body heat and ridiculous cosmic sex jokes hahaha.... but underneath all of that is the fear of losing yourself when two people start feeling like one.
the music video was intentionally more complicated than the song’s hopeful idea. by the time i filmed it, the relationship had already been over for many years, so i knew exactly what i was doing. i follow the red thread believing it will lead somewhere, but by the end i am completely tangled in it.... and i never actually find the other end.
and the final lines already contain that fear: if everything fell apart, he would still be "a whole man".... while i was scared i would become "no-thing". maybe i had tracked a red thread, but i still didn't know where it was taking me.
released on january 4, 2025, "Tracked My Red Thread" became the sixth song of the "2019, max" audiovisual story.
songwriting by CANTIBEALL®
produced and mixed by CANTIBEALL®
mastered by CANTIBEALL®
6. Tracked My Red Thread
I’ve been feeling a knot
So I’ve made a research
I finally tracked
My red thread!
And found out what we are,
We are only one
Saw your tent, you were awake
By the fire you bit my cake
I’m under cold sheets
I need your Max- (you, Max!)
-ximum body-heat
We are only one
It can get to your nerves
If you don’t get some food
Before I have Mac
And Cheese you come!
Eat…. my buns
When I hug you I feel
You put the galaxy inside of me
I finally tracked
My red thread!
I love being your meal, now
We are only one
Outta this world so throw me
On the surface of the Moon
And commit some
Cosmic perversion!
With me… at noon
But if you get upset
And it all goes to hell
I’m scared you’d be
A whole man!
And I would be no-thing.
We are only one.
🧵 🪢 🌌 💙
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